|Blackflix Movie News Presents: 5 Ways For Guys To Survive The Chick Flick
Saturday, July 9, 2005
By Jeff Usry
When it comes to checking out a movie, most guys would say, "Hey, let’s go see something starring Samuel L. Jackson, Wesley Snipes or Ice-T.
Just ask them if they’ve seen "Waiting To Exhale" on their own and they’ll probably respond, "If Vin Diesel’s not in it, chances are I missed it."
However, the key to maintaining a healthy relationship with your lady is being able to suck it up and sit through such films as "Kingdom Come, "Brown Sugar," or "Two Can Play That Game," when you’d really rather be watching Ice Cube or Will Smith beat the snot out of a somebody.
Well, here’s a list of things you can do to successfully survive your next chick flick encounter and walk away wearing the white hat, still looking like Mr. Wonderful.
1. You choose the star:
Pick a film starring Denzel Washington. It’s a win-win situation. Washington has been known to punch a guy’s lights out every now and again. Plus, women love his sensitive side.
2. Negative reinforcement:
Make sure a negative event happens whenever you go to a chick flick — flat tire, food poisoning...you get the idea. Your date will start associating chick flicks with negative situations and will eventually insist upon seeing action/adventure flicks.
3. What goes around comes around:
If she wants to see "How Stella Got Her Grove Back — Redux," then you insist upon the two of you doing some dangerous macho extreme sport. When she refuses (Keep your fingers crossed, this could backfire.) then you can say, "That’s OK, Baby. Let’s compromise and go see Daredevil."
4. The soft drink/jujube run:
Never purchase jujubes, popcorn or soft drinks before a movie. This is the perfect excuse for running back and forth to the concession stand or playing video games in the lobby arcade for 90 minutes. If you go to a mall theater, then you’re really in luck. A concession stand run is the perfect opportunity for purchasing that CD or DVD you’ve been meaning to buy. Just make sure you’re back in time for the closing credits and houselights.
5. Do your homework:
Read your local film critic’s review. Believe it or not, he’s a hired gun who’s actually paid to watch what you won’t. This is your "Ace In The Hole." While driving home, you’ll be prepared to intellectually debate the merits of the film you just left but didn’t actually watch or didn’t pay close attention to. You can even punctuate your remarks with a rousing "thumbs up or thumbs down."