|Excuse me, are you listening? 10-6
Friday, April 8, 2011
I was having a conversation with my son, Gianni, who just turned 19 on April 2 and my daughter, Anissa, who just turned 10 on April 4 about names.
We were at Geno’s Pizzeria for their birthday celebrations
I remember speaking to a male relative when I named my youngest son, Amir Moses about names.
He said, “Make sure that you give him a strong name that he can be proud of. I don’t like when parents have crazy names for their children that sound like they worship Satan, cars or perfumes.”
His comments stuck with me as I looked through baby books trying to figure out what to name this new baby. I knew he would be my last.
My daughter was named Anissa because I ate licorice all the time. Anise is an herb known for its flavor, which resembles licorice. Her middle name is Cheyenne because of the strength and perseverance of the Cheyenne Indians. Anissa was surely a gift from God.
Gianni’s father is Italian hence the Italian name Gianni Tripoli and then Risper was added.
I didn’t know I was pregnant with Amir, while breast feeding Anissa. So for 3 months, I went about my business. Plotting out this idea I had for a newspaper that would revolutionize the world.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was surprised. Actually everyone was surprised. He was so quiet we named him after the “Prince in the Water” - Amir Moses.
My husband Frank’s favorite uncle, Moses Stokes, also had a lot to do with cementing the name for us. My husband loved him so and Uncle Moses was one of the sharpest dressers that I knew when I moved to Lansing.
I know Amir Moses did not get that trait straightened out yet given the fact that I am always asking him what he has on his shirt.
I wondered what other people thought about names. I wondered how irritated teachers became once names began to spiral and transform into different compounds. I always refer to Facebook and here is what people had to say :
Rina N Risper
Do you think that a child should have the option to correct his or her name if it is not spelled within the norm? ie.. Domanic (Dominic) or Ameer (Amir).
I think they can make that decision when they become an adult. My twins have names that are not spelled the norm. ie: Jasmyne & Jayde. They like being different. They are at an age now where they continue to tell me they need the power to make their own decisions, such as what they wear, freedom of speech, etc. We have not made it to them hating their names yet! LOL I tell them the more respectful and mature they act the more decisions they will be allowed. It is so hard to get a child to understand why adults get to make all the important decisions. Goodness, if I let Jayde dress herself she would be dying her hair black, and wearing gothic emo styles everywhere we go. Nothing wrong at all with having your own style, but I don't want to encourage depression. She gets upset. But at the end of the day a child is a child. And can only think as a child.
Katrina put it really well!:) My Mom thought she was being unique when she gave me two "n's" in my first name; most people just think it is a typo! It used to bother me when I was a kid, and even to this day my Dad spells it "Karen"...but really it does not bother me.
In today's society, the slightest things bother people. We are in such a hurry that having to tell someone how to spell our name correctly takes too much time. Our last name is always misspelled. It doesn't bother me. I have been working on my own patience lately. It is my current goal to become as patient as possible. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era. I am far too laid back for a go, go, go lifestyle. I would rather be cleaning and cooking, taking care of my garden, canning, and singing while it all gets done. The part that bothers me most as I watch my children grow is how badly they want the approval of others. I never cared for such. I am who I am. I am human, I make mistakes, but so does everyone else. I am trying to teach my children to just be themselves, and encourage them to believe that is always, always, always enough. Far too often children make decisions based on what other will think, say, an do. Not based on what is best for them at the time.
If a child hates their name, it usually is because they hate not seeing their name around or having to correct others. I use to hate going to the store & seeing all these pens. bike plates. notebooks. even jewelry with Maria on it instead of mine. And repeating my name for any teachers or principals. Still hate hearing my name said wrongly. But I learned to accept it & move on. I use to ask my mom & dad all the time why I couldn't just get it changed. but they explained to me that it was to prove how unique I was to the world.& that my dad wanted to name me after his first love, my mom. The spelling was done to let people know I am not my mom. I am my own person. Now that I am getting real close to being able to legally change it myself, I don't want to. Because as simple & ordinary I look, my actions aren't. I find my name to be the same. A simple name with a twist. If they don't like the name, they can choose to change it later on in life if it really bothers them.•
Pam Zeller Drake
When they are 18 they can legally change it. Unusual spellings can be a source of ammo for bullies to pick on others. Also I have seen kids feel left out not being able to buy things with their name on it like everyone else can. I prefer "common" spellings for these and several other reasons. It saves the child grief to spell their name the proper way.
As much as it is easier on the kid to see their name in stores, it is no easier in society now a days. The kids get use to seeing odd names & then ask later why their name is so common. I know plenty of Lisa's. All w/ the same middle name as well. Marie. Only one likes it. Lisa Marie is a very common example. I know in my family, we have a pretty even amount of common & uncommon names. & 1-4 names are spelled oddly. My 2 middle siblings want to have uncommon names instead of the usual Pablo & Gloria. While my brother, Adriano Jaws, hated having to learn how to spell that. He's 5. But my sister Elitha would like to stop getting her name messed up & see it spelled as Ellie or Elida. All I'm saying is, every kid hates their name at one point in life or another.
Yes, We legally changed the spelling of our son's name a few years ago from Tarique to Tariq. He didn't like the “ue” on the end
Of course! But why? It's just one of the many that separates from the boring norm. My name is spelled with an “en” instead of an “in” and my brother’s name is Chadd with an extra “d”. I have never thought of legally correcting the spelling. I like it! :)
Rina! You always ask such intriguing questions. Not only do they get us to THINK....... They get us to EMOTE...... To express our inner thoughts and express them well. I think a persons name is unique to THEM no matter HOW it is spelled! BTW growing up my favorite cousin was funny, older than my parents and had personality PLUS. Coca Cola Maghee! Real name.
Lillie Ann Fox
I think a child has a right to change there name.
Annette Hannula Shauver
My Tommy is now Tomie. He thinks society shouldn't put restrictions on how he spells his name. Doesn't matter to me. I can do Tomie.
Ann Gamboe Hall
I don't have an unusual first name, but its very old fashioned. There was NOTHING available with my name when I was a kid. It always bothered me. And then there was my loony middle and last names which continue to this day to cause me paperwork grief. I would not, however, have bothered to change it when I was 18. That brings its own grief.
David S Gregware
Hmmmm, nice question. My family has gone through these changes quite a bit. Here's my nonsense: A) When does a child become an Adult, at what age? I'm 46 and I still am a child. B) I, personally like 'given' names, there is something ancestral and formal about it to me. Nope, not Dave, I do prefer David! ;) <2 cents>
Wonderfull question. Here is my take, having a unique name like mine has had it's jeering, and I have been thought to be a man,of course I am a woman. I just laugh at it and keep them wondering. I threw in an O in Zachory (my Son) as a security default for future purposes.
So you see readers, my mind has been changed. Who am I? Everybody has a right to name a child what they would like. I still have concerns about the alleged mother who named her twins Lemon Jello and Orange Jello. According to the story her attempt was to name her children after D’Angelo the sultry R&B singer. Lemongelo and Orangelo, that is a bit much for me but then again who am I to judge and who are you? Just note that others are not as liberal as I am. Yes, I am a bit concerned that Amir, who has a Muslim name, is not going to get a fair shake in life but then again, how would I have ever known about the disdain some would have for Muslims. He was born on July 19, 2002, a few months after 9-11. He will make the decision to do what he pleases and I will support him. What is in a name you ask? Well a lot.
PS. Typos are accepted on personal Facebook pages... oh, how I love Facebook. Follow “Rina Risper”.
April 10, 2011 - April 23, 2011 Edition