I love what I do. At times I must rejuvenate and reassess. It is not easy when you must figure out whether your health is worth the paycheck. We all must work. Some of us have to invest more time than others to parental duties. We are multifaceted. Unless you are a single dad, most of the responsibility for child rearing is left to the mother. I am not saying that fathers are not just as important to a child, I am saying that when it comes to making decisions based on work that revolves around the children, the mother is primarily responsible. It is an unspoken rule that when a child gets sick at school that the mother is usually called first.
When I started the newspaper, I was pregnant, had a child under the age of one and a pre-teen. I primarily worked by myself and had only the assistance of my family. It was an investment and well worth it.
Last year on July 19, my youngest Amir announced, “I am now a decade old.” However, the whole week prior to he marveled about his impending birthday. He told everyone that he came across that he would soon be turning “a decade old”. I myself was going through the process of managing my family life, work life and making decisions based on the fact that my youngest would soon be a decade old. What was I going to do with myself as a mother and career woman?
I remembered when I started the newspaper, I said that I would function in the growing space. I also told myself that when Amir turned ten I would really take a look at where I wanted to be. Now I think that I was a little demented to start a newspaper while pregnant and with an almost one year old and a pre-teen. Over the last twelve years, I have dealt with illness, death, the loss of friendships and all of the other stresses. The one thing that makes me different from most is that I am an entrepreneur. I cannot take time off when I am not feeling well, I have to get better soon or else things will fall apart. I cannot rely on my co-workers because they are independent as well. Inevitably, it is my job that gives me balance and I find something to absolutely love about it. It may be the smile of the person that you are doing a story on, the elation in a voice on the telephone that you have given advice to or just giving someone a ride to their destination, not because they asked but because you knew to ask first.
I absolutely do “love people” despite abusive or bullying people. There are plenty of those to go around. A recent incident happened to me where some inaccurate information was printed about a situation that was so benign. It was amazing that the individual would have even brought it to the attention of another entity. Do not ever assume that when someone tries to defame you that there are those who believe it. The outpouring of love and concern was overwhelming. It just backfired on the person. I could not believe how shocked people were about the audacity. However, at some point you have to keep it moving.
The few folks who decided to ignore the malicious intent are just doing what is normal for most. I was standing up for something that was truth for me and many other people. Some who had other things to gain by choosing to look the other way just caused more problems. It is quite interesting how greedy and self absorbed people become when they feel they can be a martyr to only their own images. I understand this too and I love them too. Seriously, reality and integrity are two different things and YOU do not get to choose what is more important for someone else. Do not assume that people who tell you that they are on your side actually understand where you are. If you were in a situation and you were starving and your captor had two apples and one was rotten, which one would you want? Would you feel bitter because even though you were being nourished you received the rotten apple? The next day, the both of you get nothing to eat at all. You can feel your stomach touching your back. The captor comes in with water in a gold chalice and the other is a plastic bowl. The same happens. Do you become prickly again because you did not get the gold chalice? The water is the same. “Love people” despite the games that people play and the rules you decide to follow. In the long run, it will all catch up with you. The people that you were supposed to stand behind, are the ones who have already left you behind and for what. Now you stand along. At the time you did not realize the error. You could have split the apples and both had half. You could have shared the gold chalice.
Make sure that you have clarity in what you are doing. Always put your best foot forward and get some real friends. Real friends will share with you. Real friends will test you and tell you when you are wrong or when to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Real friends will not complain about you but will go to you with their concerns.
There are 260 something days left in 2013. What are you going to do to make this year special? Do not worry about those who are making no clear contribution to your existence. Empower your self by finding your magic and then spread the love.
P.S. You can find us on Linkedin, Twitter and facebook. Social media has been very interesting for us. I try to get to know each person and have now made it my business to meet a new facebook friend each month. I hope you have been feeling spectacular.
This was printed in the April 7, 2013 – April 20, 2013 Edition